Obama Shares His Fake Playlist

President Obama shared his Spotify playlist nobody asked for after it was carefully vetted by pollsters and consultants and found to be the most broadly acceptable set of classic radio play music. Coldplay, Rolling Stones, Tempations, Justin Timberlake, and Beyonce, just to name a few bands with 20 million plus followers on social media. Either Obama has tons of free time to jigger his music playlsts or this is all contrived bullshit. I’m still rocking Hilary Clinton’s Spotify list fine tuned for making sweet dry vagina love to Anthony Weiner’s wife. I’m holding off on any major music purchases until Jeb Bush and Marco Rubio release their ten best songs to listen to while pretending Florida is awesome. Somebody, make it stop. I hope Trump says ‘fuck you’ when they ask him for his Spotify list. I bang whores and fleece creditors to old recordings of Paul Harvey’s amusing anecdotes. The only acceptable reason to care what music other people listen to past middle school age is when you want to impress a girl you’re after and shamelessly tell her Adele really speaks to you. As a bonus, if you imagine Adele eating a pastrami Reuben while fucking this girl, you will last five minutes longer.

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