Melissa McCarthy Making Clothes for the Every Woman

Melissa McCarthy is on a Home Shopping Network mission to make sure that women of all sizes have options for decent fashion choices. Since slender women have always had numerous options, let’s just assume ‘all sizes’ means the bigger sizes. Every time there’s a story about somebody determined to make stylish clothes for larger ladies, they have explain that the average sized American woman weighs fourteen tons. Just like the average number of calories in a Chimichanga is 1,800. But the average number of calories in the side salad on the same menu approximates zero. Statistical means are misleading.

McCarthy is basing her all sizes clothing line on some profound fashion truisms, like:

I think you should dress exactly how you want to dress, then you always look your best.

That’s so very true. Even if it suggests the opposite of your fashion line’s mission statement. McCarthy is still several business leagues away from learning that big women don’t want cool clothes for big women, they want to fit into cool clothes for slender women. Or even uncool clothes for slender women. It’s possible that the best thing is to stop making clothes for overweight people altogether. Give everybody a one year notice. You fit into regular sized clothes or you’re naked and alone in the street. There, I just saved four hundred billion dollars for Obamacare. I’m definitely hiding one fat girl in Raiders Zubaz pants in my basement just for old time’s sake.

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