Brittney Palmer Almost Murdered

UFC Ring Girl Brittney Palmer was almost murdered to the death after he husband flew into a jealous rage. It’s possible his story will differ. Something closer to, she’s lying. Palmer claims her husband, who is usually a super nice dude who chia gardens and volunteers with children, threw her around their home and nearly choked her out after he heard her casting agent call her ‘babe’ on the telephone. According to Palmer, as her husband had her hog-tied fighting for air, he scratched himself and yelled out:

Why are you making me do this? I just wanted you to love me!

Is he homaging Jeremy Renner as a creepy serial killer or is he scratching himself to produce mitigating attack wounds? I’m not sure ‘she scratched me’ is actually a legal defense against choking your wife to death. ‘She never let me get a drum set in the house’ I could see playing well at least to the guys on the jury. This incident brings to mind the old adage, don’t marry a woman every other man in the world wants to titty fuck. If you found Jake LaMotta to be the sympathetic character in Raging Bull, stick to casual dating. Be the guy who calls her babe on the phone and fucks her a few times after her husband turns out to be the kind of dick a ring girl marries. That’s the sweet spot.

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