WNBA Couple Divorce 28 Days Later

WNBA players Brittney Griner and Glory Johnson have agreed to annul their turbulent 28 day marriage which saw many ups and downs including a week of unseasonable humidity, the cable going out, a fist fight in which they were both arrested, and of course a pregnancy from sperm donor Dane Cook. There are a myriad of ways to deal with a fledgling relationship but having a kid has got to be the least ethical outside of taking out your aggression on the Jews. In fact the divorce happened the day after they had announced the pregnancy. Perhaps it was an accident. Maybe a drunken night of Twister. Next thing you know you’re busting out the last of the whiskey and that milky jar in the fridge starts calling your name. Put it in the Super Soaker I’ll be in the living room with my ankles behind my head. What are you Chris fucking Kyle? A dysfunctional childhood can really put a chip on a kid’s shoulder. We’ve found the next Jordan call Sports Illustrated we need that sonogram on the cover.

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