Tom Hardy Has Come A Long Way

While he was a struggling actor, Mad Max and Bane portrayer Tom Hardy ran a Myspace page which he used for curating pussy and posted several photos of himself trying to look hot in his underwear while being dead serious. This was circa 2008 before Tinder and those services which scrub Google of your cock pics hit the scene. Hardy’s About Me section reads like a goth kid’s suicide note as he ends his life by shotguning beers at a bitchin’ kegger:

“the mind is like a parachute it will only work when it is opened. i am often afraid. So I have to share.I want to help, it’s not my business to judge, I make mistakes, I stand corrected, I accept casualties and walk with hope because I fucking LOVE. I could so easily be dead.I am a goldfish walking through a desert… I am a goldfish walking through a desert. “

Hardy’s montra ridden drivel most likely sealed the deal with a few random floozies on their first week of Bikram. Those young ladies are now married with children and we’re left with a relic of what 30 year old dudes resort to when they keep striking out at the club. Hold your head high. We all strive to attain the status to be publicly humiliated. Keep jerking off in the dark.

Photo Credit: Myspace