Screech Guilty Of Stabbing

Dustin Diamond was convicted of two misdemeanors for carrying a concealed weapon and disorderly conduct but was acquitted of hanging out on the infomercial converted set of Saved By The Bell for years after the show was cancelled and stealing trail mix. According to Diamond he was trying to defend himself and his escort girlfriend who dresses like a clown from a group of townies he claimed had the potential to become violent. Diamond claims he brandished a knife and preemptively slashed one of them on their Packers tattoo. All of this took place in a bar on Christmas Day in Wisconsin where you were allotted one free shot of whatever was in the bar mat for each of your broken dreams or children you lost in the divorce whatever’s greater. Diamond faces up to nine months in jail where he could possibly execute that zany Screech rape sequence at the hands of Slater I always felt the networks were cheating us out of. My money says he cops a plea of community service which he could easily serve by drinking at home. I can’t get a hold of my agent.