Kylie Jenner and Tyga Getting Hitched

You know what they say about kids who grow up in brothels with dads who want to be working the clients rather than just working the register. There’s nothing Kylie can do at this point that can’t be blamed on her shitty parents. Including eloping with her older rapper boyfriend. It’s not something typically encouraged. And it’s not really eloping, since the reading challenged couple have pre-announced an August timeline for their marriage. That’s just force of TV scheduling habit.

According to RadarOnline, Kylie and Tyga will be married shortly after Kylie turns eighteen this summer and the couple will move far away to New York or even Europe as that’s the farthest place right on the Google map.

“Kylie is done with the constant criticism and micro-management from her family, especially Kim, and she’s dead set on going her own way as soon as possible.” — anonymous insider

It is amazing how anonymous insiders sound so much like reporters making up stories on a slow news day. If you’re going to have four marriages and a couple or three kids by men of dubious character, you need to start sometime. In ten years there will be major advancements in therapeutic headgear for your offspring. Get yourself out there. Nobody rich dies of The AIDS anymore.

Photo credit: Getty Images