Iggy Azalea Canceled Until Further Notice

Iggy Azalea’s big second half of 2015 concert tour was canceled due to what is being called production delays. According to people who lie without hesitation for a living, Azalea’s complex stage production just couldn’t be put together in time for her upcoming Albino No Likee Light world tour. This could be true if there were an international shortage of black gay male backup dancers with killer abs. Or the world ran out of electricity. Cynics are claiming the tour was shuttered primarily due to poor forecast for ticket sales related to the fact that Azelea’s music is pretty fucking horrible and everybody got tired of pretending. Also, she’s been involved in a number of social media dustups where she posts pictures of her artificially jacked up ass then claims she’s only had her brows done.

It’s tough to figure out. Being a shitty music artist and lying about plastic surgery has never stopped a pop artist in the past from selling out venues. Madonna did forty million Kabbalah bracelets in gross box office this past year. I’d hate to think this was simple prejudice against pale women with man hands. That shit was supposed to stop when Megan Fox made kielbasa sized thumbs sexy again. Where do I go to get my anonymous refund?

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