Courtney Stodden’s Mom To Adopt 40 Year Old Man

Courtney Stodden’s mom Krista Keller used to be her manager before she released a video of herself masturbating with a Swiffer and lied about it being stolen. I’m not sure what managing Stodden entailed prior to that but I’d assume it encompassed creating Backpage ads for the computer illiterate. It’s not a good sign when you don’t share the name of your birth mother and dad’s never in your family Christmas cards. Perhaps an astute social services employee figured something wasn’t right early on. Namely an unemployed 15 year old doesn’t need a manager or to marry one of the Max Weinberg 7 before she gets boobs.

Keller is now managing Internet talk show host John Kerwin and says she will be legally adopting him as her son, even though she’s only 13 years his senior:

“Yes, the subject has come up. I am a motherlike figure to him. John really feels close to me and I am going to love being his mumager. We shall see what the future holds.”

All of this seems like a deleted scene from Clockwork Orange and I wish them both the absolute worst. I can’t help but notice your momager is eating the ficus. Please exit the premises immediately. You can finish that chili dog in the parking lot. Where the fuck is Tacoma?

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