Caitlyn Jenner Gives Homage

Caitlyn Jenner posed with Dr Harrison Lee and thanked him for doing ten hours of cosmetic surgery which ultimately led to her self actualization of being someone who is obsessed with their face. I’m not even sure plastic surgery should be legal. How a doctor could take the Hippocratic Oath and then decide to cut your eyelids off is beyond me but I’m pretty sure it boils down to a Lambo in your garage. Staph, flesh eating bacteria and Michael Jackson Syndrome are just a few of the potential risks but on the bright side you get to find out that deep down inside you’ve always been someone who scares children. The Buddhists are a bunch of lazy hacks. True enlightenment is derived from a Propofol nap and skin stretching. Is it like a barber shop where you bring in a picture? What if they fuck it up are you now somebody else? Do we all have an old cunt trapped inside of us and what if I was supposed to be born seven feet tall? The whole concept is ludicrous. I’m glad Jenner is happy with the new face. Tomorrow, we get to the kids in the cancer ward. Promise.

Photo Credit: Instagram