Bruce Jenner Goes With Kaitlyn

According to InTouch Weekly, whose sources consist of overweight El Salvadoran women peering into crystal balls next to Santeria shops, Vagina Dad has chosen Kaitlyn for his butterfly name. Anyone familiar with the Kardashian-E! money printing machine knows the real tranny name is likely being held under lock and key for a FIFA level cash payment. Still, I’m going to give Kaitlyn a whirl just to break from the pack of media struggling with their gender identity terminology.

Word on the tranny street is that Kaitlyn has lopped off her former Gold Medal penis and is preparing to be revealed in her full glory on the cover of the July issue of Vanity Fair. This is good news for those with senior citizen transgender full frontal Porn Tube cookies on their Dells. For the rest of us, it’ll be a chance to finally see what grandpa would look like as a girl. Given that his kids are already overtly sexualized troubled human party favors, there’s no downside in forcing them to deal with this rather traumatic public spectacle. There’s nowhere to go but money.

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