Bill Clinton Smarter Than You Thought

Politically aligned or not, We all assumed Bill Clinton was some kind of Jed Clampett country bumpkin. This shamelessly sinister dude has been raking in the dough and the snatch like an urban gangster since he left office fifteen years ago. The latest tale of New Jack Clinton involves the former President refusing to speak at the charity that supports victims of that Indian Ocean earthquake tsunami in 2004 unless model Petra Nemcova agreed to hand him $500,000 in thanks for helping us out cash. Nemcova has been a spokesperson for the charity since clinging to a tree for survival in the very same tsunami that wiped out a solid chunk of the Thai coastline where Gary Glitter used to sex tour. In 2014, the charity relented and Clinton got paid. No pro athlete has ever held out for more cash with such grace and tact. Call it cynical cash grubbing if you will, I’d like to have this dude back at 1600 Pennsylvania. His secret fetish is plain old banging chicks and he’s shrewd when it comes to money. Hillary can only claim one of those.

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