Beyonce Finally Paying Attention To Herself

Beyonce went on Good Morning America after having stated she was going to announce some major news such as a new album or a third tit but it turned out to be a lie in the name of self promotion. The announcement was that she had been on a vegan diet for 22 days and is starting a vegan meal delivery business with personal trainer Marco Borges. Then she posted a bunch of photos of herself in a swimsuit and called her landscaper a pervert. Her shitty behavior came as a shock to the cat ladies who worship her although they have yet to realize she’d spit on them in an elevator. She had sanctimoniously promoted the appearance heavily on her website with such teasers as:

“Tomorrow morning Beyonce has something amazing she wants you to know. You’re gonna love it.”

It seems Beyonce doesn’t have much respect for her fans, which makes sense because nobody else does either. You’ve got to have a lot of nerve to promote the fact that you’re going to be promoting a side business aimed at your cotton candy eating constituents. No word on whether Beyonce will stick with the vegan diet or if she even knows what that is or just signed a notarized document promising her more money. The meals come in a week’s supply and cost between $9.76-$16.50 each. That’s a lot of money for something you could feed to your turtle. I’m rooting for this business to crash and burn like a vegan after walking a flight of stairs. Beyonce is now promoting an event where you get to wait in line and hand her money. Actually her assistant but you can smell her flats. That’s a lot of burgers.

Photo Credit: Beyonce.com