Armless Chick Weds

The chick who got her arm bit off by a shark and continues to surf until that fucker comes for her other got married to a guy who either loves her unconditionally or has an unacknowledged fetish. Bethany Hamilton tied the knot but really that’s beside the point and we’re all thinking the same thing. Why are you using that stump as a gardening trowel? I noticed only one of you went sleeveless. But why is it always the one missing a limb? The pair previously appeared on The Amazing Race where Hamilton was repeatedly ticketed for not keeping her hands on the wheel. Doggystyle can be a problem. I bought you a bean bag. That’s not rude, it means I care. We need to turn traditional meanings on their head if this is to work. Also, here’s a swing. Standard meaning.

Photo Credit: Twitter