Alexis Ren in A Bikini

In a world beset by feckless fucks determined to remove joy from life, chicks with tight little asses will continue to trade well. Attempts to construct a web of shame around natural human behavior have forever failed. The longing to stick your dick into warm places has yet to be topped. The fact that some subset of people can’t achieve orgasm unless they’re denying the pleasure to others is the anomaly, not the rule. Let the inherently unhappy make their proclamations and elect their President, I’ll be here in the basement awaiting their demise. I have unlimited access to Russian porn and Amazon now delivers same day beer. Time is on my side.

Photo Credit: Lucas Passmore