Alessandra Ambrosio In Turkish Mag

Models don’t actually travel to Turkey for photoshoots, you only go to Turkey for tar heroin and on your way to conquer the Middle East and Subcontinent. Also, if you like seeing something resembling a caterpillar rolling across your dick during blowjobs.

The Turkish government bans about 30,000 websites including probably this one so I can say whatever I want without fear of losing my VIP membership to the Istanbul steam baths reeking of ass blood. The government banned YouTube at one point and more recently banned Twitter. That actually seems progressive, or at least healthy. It’s illegal in Turkey to promote child pornography, though engaging in it sullenly is perfectly acceptable. Also, you can’t mock the current government or even make a veiled joke about Ataturk, the founder of modern day Turkey. He’s their George Washington, if George Washington jokes came with a twenty year prison sentence and access to only three packs of smokes a day. Ah, Turkey, you beautiful bastard of a land. Ban the masturbation mags and watch yourselves implode completely.

Photo Credit: L’Officiel Turkey