Uma Thurman’s Face Settled

Remember when you couldn’t sleep without the lights on because Uma Thurman disfigured her face and it reminded you of the time you watched your ceramic monkey melt in the house fire your dad lit for insurance? If you’d listened to the Eastern European human trafficking experts on surgically altering faces, they all said, you need to give the face time to settle. Colonel Steve Austin didn’t clock sixty miles an hour during his first bionics test run. Uma Thurman looks great now. Not fake great like her supporters pretending she didn’t resemble a frightened marsupial post-surgery. But real young woman cheek bones and tits great. I’m happy for her and the process. Move your IMDB birthday up ten to fifteen years and get some leading roles in movies Hollywood doesn’t make for women.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI