Salma Hayek Tits Have Had Enough of Sexism

Salma Hayek and a bunch of incredibly fortune female film industry cohorts joined forces in Cannes to speak about rampant sexism in Hollywood and the worldwide movie industry leaving no chance for a sister to make it out of the hood. According to the klatch of women in film, the movie business doesn’t allow women to direct or star in movies and merely forces them to be topless horror victims and humiliate them on set for not being able to bench press their own weight. Salma Hayek can’t help but wonder if the poor showing of her niche product independent films playing obscure historical figures is related to sexism and women being put in little tiny boxes where their big fake tits barely fit. But, there is  yet for the suffragettes:

“What gives me hopes is that we [women] are in a position of power. And I am so grateful to gay men. If it wasn’t for Tennessee Williams and Pedro Almodovar, it would be even worse.”

Naturally. Straight men and Joss Whedon being born evil and impotent and what not. Hayek also suggested as a backup plan to marry a French billionaire who likes to bang babies into supermodels. It can’t hurt for those periods when you’re having to work ten times as hard as gimpy male midgets to find roles in Hollywood.  The women all agreed that the widely anticipated Cannes premiered film Carol, a lesbian love story by Todd Haynes set in the 1950’s would be the final determinant of whether or not films for women were actually going to be accepted by the movie audience at large. The one guy in the room serving the tea cakes chuckled to himself.

Photo credit: FameFlynet