Pamela Anderson Still Trying

Four times divorced and drunk-ass broke single mom only begins to describe the highlight of Pamela Anderson’s match.com profile. There’s the tits. You know those are comp as part of the package. Anderson is currently flipping through her Rolodex of former older dudes she used to bang hoping they remember her in better days or maybe just don’t remember much at all. You’re scrolling down pretty deep when Chuck Zito’s ticket comes up. Strap on that sheer dress, throw back the rubbing alcohol your sobriety supervisor failed to confiscate in her last sweep of your home, and dine like royalty. You were once a queen. Just like New York cabbies all used to be doctors. Never Neverland is as real as you want it to be, Wendy.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet/AKM-GSI