Kim Jong Un Is How Shit Gets Done

In California, it’s impossible to fire anybody unless you have photos of them watering their lawns on restriction days. In North Korea, downsizing is simpler. Kim Jong Un discovered that his Defense Minister was nodding off during his speeches and making some Jong Un is so fucking fat jokes at cocktail parties so he had Hyon Yong Choi marched out in front of an anti-aircraft gun and asked if he felt lucky. The ZPU-4 blasts large caliber ammunition to a range of 25,000 feet. At 20 feet, it probably stings something fierce. Jong Un made sure his inner circle was present at Choi’s evisceration so they’d adjust their comedy routines accordingly. Hey, Park, you’re the new Defense Minister, you got something smart to say?

Last year, Jong Un had his uncle eaten to death by hungry hunting dogs. You’d think that lesson would’ve stuck. He’s gruesomely murdered seventy government officials in the four years he’s been the Supreme Awesome Leader. That’s just how you get shit done North Korean style. If Jong Un ran McDonald’s, he’d show pictures of Choi eating tracer rounds and then ask the counter girls if they really deserved $31,000 a year just because they decided ninth grade was the right time to start a family. In North Korea, the moat crocodiles don’t care about your political agenda.

Photo credit: Wikipedia, WikiCommons