Chris Christie Trouble In Paradise

David Wildstein, a New Jersey Port Authority bureaucrat, pleaded guilty to involvement in closing lanes on the Jersey side of the George Washington Bridge to spite political opponents. Wildstein says he will testify under oath that Christie gave the plan the go ahead, most likely while eating a meatball hero not with his mouth. Of course Wildstein is a pedophile who likes to hang outside the Color Me Mine offering stolen yogurt samples to children from war torn countries and once compared a beagle to Rosie O’Donnell rendering it with indigestion. None of that’s true but anyone working on the upcoming smear campaign feel free to use it. Expect Christie to testify slightly after his third term in office if he hasn’t already had the State House blown up by his evil twin who emerged as Undersecretary of Agriculture after the cyborg heart transplant went awry. If you were sitting in traffic you’d want all these fuckers publicly hanged. It’s a highly publicized case and we have great relations with Saudi Arabia. I move for a change of venue.

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