Sarah Stage Pregnant With Abs

When you’re feral and roaming the wasteland and an outlander from across the great sea asks you when the apocalypse began, remind them of the time that model chick started posting her third trimester six pack pregnancy abs on Instagram. Millions of large pregnant women sucking on cliches about eating cheesecake for two went into a stampede causing a dust storm that circled the stratosphere and killed our ability to produce soy based meat substitutes. All the pretty women rolled themselves up in their yoga mats until asphyxiated and we decided to launch the nuclear arsenal because why the fuck not. Now, we survivors wipe our asses with unsold copies of Rolling Stone and pray the crickets hop into our traps. I bet the baby’s suffering. She seems like a horrible mom.

Photo Credit: Instagram