Ireland Baldwin No Pants No Problem

Ireland Baldwin did a photo shoot for a lingerie line that didn’t seem to involve any lingerie. She was mostly naked even though they turned her to cover up all the good bits.. Baldwin is a professional fashion model meaning she can’t sing or act but she’s tall and pretty and her gums don’t bleed from extended periods of starvation. It is widely assumed most of her overtly sexual behavior is revenge aimed at her swarthy drunk father Alec and Kim Bassinger who birthed her in between rounds of decade long sedatives. She tried dating an older surfer dude but when dad just kept making more babies and forgetting her birthdays, she took up with a black lesbian rapper  After that it’s a spot in the Chris Christie’s cabinet. By the time she’s on her second face tattoo she’ll realize it was all for nothing. I’ve seen this movie before. It doesn’t end well. Godspeed to all the players.

Photo Credit: Instagram