Hugh Jackman Celebrates Best Wife Ever

Hugh Jackman and his wife celebrated the nineteenth anniversary of their exceedingly convenient marriage. It’s a known fact anyone not questioning themselves spends their time on Broadway talking a ton of shit and then making up for their behavior with an overpriced dinner and not relishing the opportunity to prance around like Tinker Bell on steroids. Couple that with what is clearly a body dysmorphia and we’re looking at a solid pre-nup. It should be noted Jackman’s wife is also older than him and he’s way too into her for it to be real. If he’d been caught in a hotel room banging the mute coed from SUNY volleyball team the marriage would be more believable. Ponder that, wives, the next time you catch your husband with another girl. At least he’s not borrowing your dresses when you’re gone and calling himself Lisbeth. Jackman also personally designed their wedding rings and probably had a few moments during the process where he wept and fanned himself with a starched cumber bun. You’re trying too hard. Famous handsome dudes who can get unlimited ass don’t last on their starter marriage. At least they have an arrangement and it doesn’t include selfies or hand written poetry.

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