Kylie Jenner Is My Favorite

According to the parenting and click bait experts at Yahoo, the youngest child tends to be the most artistic and humorous. Also the most adventurous. And the biggest slut. I’m reading into that. I’m the youngest in my family and I’m not super choosy. Kylie Jenner is probably my favorite Kardashian daughter. She’s mercenary offspring of Kris Jenner dark eggs fertilized by lady trapped in decathlete sperm. She’s the culmination of all the sickly hopes and dreams of her parents and television producers and statutory rapist. She’s completely uneducated yet built like R. Kelly pissed in color and painted his dreams. The things this chick will do between now and twenty will inspire generations of young girls to cast off the burden of impossible expectations and live according to the size of their tits and ass. This is the suffragette movement of millennials. This is their Elizabeth Cady Stanton.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI