You’re About To Embrace Double Standards

The newest innovation in men’s swimwear is called a Knob Sock and it might become a thing. The pecker only suit takes it’s name from the practice of people who live in super hot places putting socks over their gear shift knobs to keep from burning the shit out of their hands. Now, imagine that gear shift is a confident gay man’s cock. Did you just imagine that? You can see a picture HERE and nobody will ever know, except you and weeping Jesus who will tell your mom.

While this seems deliberately obnoxious and your first reaction is to buy a leather jacket and go motorboat some floozies at a tavern near the crossroads just relax. We should be encouraging this. As long as homosexual men are participating in this type of activity, it’s just going to lower the bar for both genders.

You don’t have to wear a Knob Sock just like you don’t have to rip it off and go to town on the guy’s uncircumcised dong. These men are heroes. They’re only encouraging chicks to stick a Tic Tac in their crack and call it a legal bathing suit. It’s fine. Soak up the view in a comfortable pair of board shorts and strike up a conversation. Liberation goes for everyone, regardless of how repugnant you might find it. Our standards of decency have melted away along with the polar ice caps. Game on. Take note ladies, we’re free as the birds now.

Photo Credit: Instagram