Tyler Perry Hooks Up Oprah

Straight as Cupid’s arrow Tyler Perry threw a Christening for his three month old manually conceived son and gave him three Godparents including Oprah and some old guy and I think dead Rock Hudson. It’s unclear if Oprah is in Perry’s trifecta of trustworthy adults or if there’s some marketing at play. That being said if you have a chance to have your kid UPSed to Oprah once you bite the dust just put a gun in your mouth now. We’re talking Yale. Perry had a plethora of musical guests perform including Bill Withers and Jennifer Hudson. Everyone had a great time except the kid who is still trying to figure out how many daddies he has. There’s the new rich old guy and the one who leaves in the morning.

Perry posted a review of the event on Facebook in which he thanked Oprah repeatedly but not his wife or purported mother of the child. In fact she is absent in all photos since the deferred payment waterfall kicked in. Perry and Oprah will now mold the kid into a Manchurian candidate in the form of a lobbyist who presses congress to ban non-transgendered comedies. With any luck their audiences will remain culturally retarded well into the future at which point they’ll hit the cryo lab and leave this little fucker to roam the Florida panhandle searching for his real father and bequeathing various mansions to his inherited Pomeranian.

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