Selena Gomez Is Moving On

As in the case with all things in life, once you get back on the sex bike, you pretty much forget your last tandem. Selena Gomez is freshly in loin love with DJ Zedd. I could look him up, but I already know I’ll think he’s a shmuck. He’s gorgeous, if you like twelve year olds with pasted on facial hair. If he can bang her without looking at his little baby muscles in the mirror and talking about how Ontario wants to name a holiday after him, go with God. No man is worth bulimia and binge drinking. One or the other, not both, unless you’ve got a guaranteed contract from Bravo.

Gomez posted a naughty picture of herself on Instagram to show she’s freed herself from her miniature Svengali. I can’t remember if women posting showy photos of themselves is a sign they’re finally over the last guy or a desperate cry for him to come back. Check the upper floor windows on her home late Valentine’s evening. Bieber can get through very tiny spaces and his ego isn’t going to take this well.

Photo Credit: Instagram