Salma Hayek Seems To Like Her New Gig

It’s nearly impossible to sell shit to women without implying their selection will make them cum like lesbian freshmen. I don’t see the same thing in razor and truck ads. Maybe a little bigger dick implications, but there’s no expectation that the new contoured Schick razor will leave your vanity splashed in jizz. This Salma Hayek ad looks like it’s selling fucking. Mmm, fucking, you know you want some. But it’s selling jewelry. I’m not saying which gives a woman more pleasure, but if yours doesn’t at least lie when you ask her, you might as well get fat now. Being skinny and hard up means you’re not successful by any ancient culture’s standards.

Photo Credit: Splash