Ronan Farrow Not At All Fired

Every three months MSNBC draws straws around the office to see who has to open the quarterly ratings book. It’s like brothels inviting the STD checker in for smears. The results are never good, only various shades of how many people are about to be let go with a pamphlet on what to do next. Somebody at MSNBC took a look at the numbers for the Ronan Farrow show and noticed that his entire audience consisted of about a forty dudes who thought he was a slightly more fuckable Rachel Maddow. There’s no shame in that. It’s true.

Ronan got his own daily show about a year ago when he put on rich blue contacts and reminded Gotham that his mom fucked Frank Sinatra while married to Woody Allen. Who doesn’t love a romantic backstory. It’d be easy to blame Ronan’s lack of experience or knowledge or skill on his ratings failure, it’d be tougher to assign precise percentages to each of those. MSNBC has made it clear that Farrow isn’t fired, he’s just being repositioned into a role where they don’t have to pay him or let him keep his bathroom key. Also, they’re going to want the contacts back.