Pete Carroll Nearly Repentent (VIDEO)

It’s important to realize Pete Carroll would be lying in a shallow grave right now if the U.S. were any of the seventeen assorted South American dictatorships. After staying inside for four days and wondering why he just ordered the salmon pizza for delivery, why he put his hand on his buddy’s wife’s knee that one time, and why the fuck he called a passing play down the middle on the two inch line, he decided to show his face and talk to Matt Lauer. He was mostly apologetic:

“It’s been a whirlwind… I feel responsible for a lot of people right now… Within the instant of the turnover, the gravity of what just happened, I understood.”

Then Lauer asked him the rhetorical question of whether that was the worst play call in the history of the world. After thinking about his yellow PT Cruiser, his Sega stockholdings, and the metal detector he bought for the beach, Carroll ultimately bucked responsibility:

“It was the worst result of a call ever. The call would have been a great one if we’d caught it. It would have been just fine and nobody would have thought twice about it.”

The same way having thirty beers and driving home is a great idea if you aren’t arrested or don’t kill anyone. You wake up the next day saucer eyed wondering what you’ve done. Then you promise yourself not to do it again. That’s the lesson dickhead. Let Beast Mode drive you.