Lance Armstrong Will Throw You Under Any Bus

Lance Armstrong rammed his SUV into some parked cars while super proud girlfriend Anna Hansen rode shotgun. They had returned from an art museum party which might infer Armstrong was drunk. Also Hansen told police Armstrong was drunk, but lied to them and said she was driving because she’d seen all those beer commercials about responsible drinking. Problem is she told a witness Lance was driving before the pair got her story straight and he cycled his blood and threatened to ruin her life. She came clean to police:

“We’ve had our family name smeared over every paper in the world in the last couple of years and honestly, I’ve got teenagers, I just wanted to protect my family… I thought, gosh, Anna Hansen hit some cars, it’s not going to show up in the papers, but Lance Armstrong hit some cars, it’s going to be a national story.”

If by smeared you mean people have accurately reported your boyfriend blatantly cheated his way to fame and fortune, then, gosh, yes. They left the scene of the crime before cops arrived, which is a hit and run. The couple have not yet been charged for a myriad of crimes including DUI and associating with Lance Armstrong. Lance loves when people take the fall. Anna drank the last Diet Coke.

Photo Credit: Twitter