Jessica Simpson Transitioning

Jessica Simpson looks hot without makeup. Not in that Hottest Chick In The World sense from a few years back. More like I could totally see myself banging this softball mom if I helped clean up after the barbecue. This is totally fine. You can gaze up at that bottle of ’54 Mccallan from the corner seat at the bar and wonder if some day you’ll get a taste. Or you can order a Johnny Walker, sit back and enjoy. Bring on the frumpy draw strings and some glittery shirt you bought at Disneyland. Once you’re belly up it’s all the same. I think Simpson is purposefully procuring this image by posing with Walmart trash nobody cares about except past their prime chicks and dudes who have given up on excalibur. There’s a million things to be, you know that there are.

Photo Credit: Instagram