Jessica Simpson Does 50 Shades

Jessica Simpson homaging Fifty Shades of Grey is a reminder that nobody edits a chick worth $150 million. Not her unemployed husband, not her gay dad, not her sister who is either a double amputee or a twice shotgun married bride, I can’t recall. Simpson might benefit from somebody waving the slow down sign on ideas that come into her head between her carefully measured snacks. You give her lip service on Fifty Shades then push Theory of Everything. Talk about a sexy love story. What’s hotter than Jessica Simpson in a wheelchair drooling into her own tits. Light up the phones on HSN. Mama’s got some acai berry cleanser to move.

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