Fifty Shades Turns Ninety Million

I don’t ask a lot from my sex movies. I do politely request that the chicks have bigger tits than the dudes, but I’m not a child who believes all pornography was shot just for him. It’s about Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson’s boyish daughter learning that a woman’s pleasure is derived from being helpless and submissive to a male model with amazing abs. Plenty of feminists are up in arms since their pleasure is derived from the exact opposite formulation. To each their own. Consenting adults should be able to bang their genitals anyway they please provided you don’t have to hear them through the common walls of your apartment. Lipstick lesbian sex excluded, naturally. You or somebody you know went to see this movie. They probably said it was horrible, but they’re lying. They liked it. Whip out some fur coated handcuffs and smile knowingly at them. Unless it’s your buddy from the rec softball league. You don’t want to know his answer.

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