Candice Swanepoel Seems Rainforest Friendly

It’s always dangerous when they send super hot chicks into exotic rainforest locales for swimsuit shoots. You never know when you might encounter an indigenous tribe lost in time and propel them into a life of whiskey and cigarettes. Wiping your ass with elder leaves seems less cool once you’ve seen a white princess with a shaved mons looking disgusted. That’s the entire reason a man ever vacuums. Now imagine you have a capybara bone through your nose and your fingers smell like shit. Millennium old traditions die quickly in the face of hot blonds.

Photo Credit: Victoria’s Secret