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Richard Simmons Is Still Alive
January 26, 2015 | celebrity | matt-ralston | 0 Comments
Richard Simmons is supposedly not dead. Someone called the police to report he is being elderly abused at the hands of a grizzly bear. It’s called party time and his safe word is kale. Whatever the spurned lover’s motivation, Simmons is doing fine although he is unfortunately still Richard Simmons. I’m so glad I didn’t spend my whole life Jazzercising. Turns out you’re miserable in the end anyway. May as well have a drink in your hand. He will be missed.
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