Ray Rice Is Now A Model Husband

Ray Rice threw a birthday party for his wife and bought her a name brand purse so it looks like everything is fine now. Janay Rice then had the nerve to caption a photo on Instagram with:

“I literally have the best husband in the world. He went above and beyond to make my birthday special.”

I don’t know about the best husband. There are still some guys out there who don’t roll their eyes about attending the farmers market and never played pinball with your head in an elevator. If I were Janay I’d strive for Fair To Middling at this point. There’s a fine art to overcompensation. When done right it can be shrugged off as delusional. When it seems calculated you’ve failed miserably. Please call off the parade and cancel that cast iron bust of your family you ordered. I hope the couple makes it without another incident but hyperbole doesn’t make it more likely. The Best Husband in The World is literally Hugh Jackman. He’s handsome and most certainly gay. Plus he’s not throwing any punches. Literally go back to college.

Photo Credit: Instagram