Lena Dunham, Eat It

Girls is back. It’s like the swallows returning to Capistrano, if swallows were enormous fucking flightless birds who believed everybody wants to see their sweaty naked balloon parts wrapped around some dude. I bet God didn’t make swallows like that. Why did he let people get this way? It shows a complete lack of irony to not recall chicks with I Heart Abortions tattoos inked across their muffin topped mons. I tuned in briefly when Peter Pan got her vagina eaten out by a man she will learn doesn’t love her. They never do. Fucking men. One of them still hopped on Lena Dunham, because she wrote that in the script then fired the one guy on set who asked if it was believable. To be fair, she didn’t fire him, she had him killed. Then she ate him. Girls is back. It’s time to search the deepest reaches of your genetic coding and see if there’s any chance left to be gay.

Photo credit: Satan