John Travolta Does Damage Control

John Travolta threw his kids under the bus when asked why he was cruising for sweaty man cock in the gym at 3 a.m.

“I’m a father. They still want me to play with them at a level of a much younger man… in order to stay healthy for them, that’s what I do.”

Studies have shown an active sex life is key to good aging. Blow jobs in the 24 Hour Fitness men’s sauna are more than invigorating so long as you don’t contract the Miami Diarrhea. C’mon, John. It’s 2015, nobody gives a shit. The hair piece is far more off-putting than your secret world of gay underground catacombs. Stop flying those planes over the Mojave on auto-pilot just so you can bust a nut in your little buddy’s face. You’re the fucking captain. Tell the world you love dick. I bet your hair grows back. Also, I just saved you $20 million on your next round of Scientology cover payments. You’re welcome, you big gay bald lug.

Photo Credit: Reddit