Heidi Klum Is a Triple Threat

I’m not sure the age when you realize your mom’s work trip was riding some dude’s dick on the beach not your dad’s. When mom jets back in time to bring orange wedges to AYSO, all is forgiven. Heidi Klum drove home the point to her daughters that someday she’s likely be banging their young boyfriends by posting an old nude photograph of herself to Twitter. You know, how modest people do. It’s going to suck when you bring home your teenage boy crush and all he can do is stare blankly at your mom. Truly not his fault when she’s topless and sucking on her nipples at the kitchen table moaning shit in German.

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