Chris Brown Gets His Dick Back

Porn star Kagney Linn Karter, potentially not her Christian name, claims Chris Brown bullied her after he paid for her company but she refused to let him invade her privates. There was apparently some confusion over exactly what ‘I will pay you, and then fuck you, and then you will leave’ meant. Vague employment terms are often the source of friction between boss and worker. Karter went on Twitter to rant, calling out the violent ex-con like wise people often do:

I WILL NEVER FUCK A WOMAN BEATER EW DISGUSTING

That was just for openers to flex her Toastmasters training. Next she posted a picture of what she said was Chris Brown’s cock with the inscribed prose:

i can slap bitches now with chris browns dick on my timeline all day say some SLICK SHIT pulls out CBs dick WHAP.

Which I think goes to show how most men blindly see the upside in a sex for hire transaction. As it turns out, there’s a reasonably high level of personal dysfunction among porn stars and prostitutes. Chris Brown’s legal team took a water break from their thirty-seven other pending cases and jumped on this shit, getting Twitter to shut down Karter’s account and delete all the Tweets and images. As per Twitter TOS, it’s not cool to threaten people with their own dicks. Though being a girl punching drug offender grants you access to the VIP lounge. Life isn’t fair. If it were, both of these people would have Ebola.