Bill Cosby Maybe Raped Nobody

Bill Cosby and his by-any-means-necessary attorney Marty Singer have been pretty tight lipped about this whole serial rape accusation debacle. Singer has issued the occasional discrediting jab at the lying pernicious whores would would slander his client’s stellar reputation for just a pack of gum. Cosby has joked about the general proceedings onstage to crowds of retirees on Indian reservations he plays to these days. But nothing specific until now.

Model Chloe Goins accused Cosby of saliva raping her tits and limbs at the Playboy Mansion in 2008, but apparently Singer has evidence Cosby was far away in New York that very same evening. Case closed. Can we get back to drone striking radical muslims and eliminating peanuts from the planet. Goins discredited accusation should certainly cast doubt on the other 28 accusers the same way I should have contracted AIDS from the handrail on the subway because I shared it with a heroin junky. Maybe Goins was on a monthlong coke blitz and didn’t know Friday from November. Maybe her mind is hazy from that Spanish Fly. Whatever. Singer got one. That’s what you pay him for. I hope you have roughly thirty times that much money. You should be back in the Harrah’s ballroom in no time.

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