Sony Chief Tips Sharpton and Jackson for Black Forgiveness

Amy Pascal, the co-chair of Sony, has initiated a heartfelt strategy of carefully worded mea culpas, and a briefcase full of hundreds to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson to serve as reparations for her emails containing blatantly racist remarks about President Obama. The only other option was to admit that rich white Liberals like to make black jokes. The truth is no way to keep your seven figure gig.

Pascal states how horrible it is to be judged on a ten-second snippet of your entire life’s work. Naturally, that presumes the one single time she made fun of black people in private was the one time Kim Jong Un’s forces of evil just happened to be stationed in a submarine in the Los Angeles river horking her emails. Bullshit that can’t be easily refuted is tantamount to the truth.

Pascal talked about the spiritual healing process she’s begun with Jackson and Sharpton on five easy installment payments, how she’s not really a racist like those white bible clingers in the South, and how nobody should blame Sony because the money they give her allows her in turn to donate heavily to the darkie in the White House she adores like a pet monkey she’d name Mr. Cheebs. Also, she can easily name two movies Sony has made under her tenure where black people were portrayed in a not super negative manner. Pascal didn’t want to out and out say it, but she’s pretty much the Rosa Parks of the studio executive ranks. I see an Image Award in somebody’s future.

Photo credit: Splash News