Rihanna Is Your New Puma Global Ambassador

I don’t know who the last Puma Global Ambassador was, but I guess they did a shitty job or got caught skinning a maid in a hotel room as Ambassadors seem to do. The German athletic wear company swiftly announced Rihanna as a replacement. She’s also being named the Creative Director of the Puma Women’s Apparel Line, the face of Puma for Fall 2015, and she will appear on the cover of the next printing of Puma’s We Didn’t Do Shit During World Word II color picture book that sits on their headquarters coffee tables. It’s unclear how Puma’s cross burgh rival Adidas will counter this major celebrity signing, but they’ll probably continue to rely on David Beckham as their outside man with Hitler’s fluid encased brain providing general corporate strategy.

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