Paris Hilton Has No Bra, Wins Award

All the big names in European third wave popular music gathered at the suspiciously unheard of NRJ Awards in Cannes to celebrate their horribleness. Paris Hilton captured the attention of the crowd with her tits while a gang of metrosexual synthesizer players dispassionately raped local orphans to an overbearing Kraftwek soundtrack. Paris was present to accept her award as the best DJ in all the seven Arab fiefdoms and to rub her herpetic snatch along the bannisters of the venue for Barbary pirates to lick and remind themselves of loved ones lost. The entire evening was dubbed a huge success by the same people who dubbed Paris Hilton a gifted musical act. At this point, you shouldn’t need another reason to hate the French.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI/Splash