Obama’s Got Your Presents, Where’s His Fucking Money?

If you’re past the age of six and you still believe in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and honest politicians you’re headed for a life of believing the Jiffy Lube guy when he tells you you need a new air filter for $79.95 every visit. You might as well just check the forever renewal box on your Highlight Magazine and prepare to find sex icky. You’re living in the land of the fairy puppets. A new story came out about the Obama administration doing some big ass legal favors for an Ecuadoran family that cuts fat checks to Obama campaign fundraising efforts.

The Obama administration has allowed the family’s patriarchs, Roberto and William Isaías, to remain in the United States, refusing to extradite them to Ecuador. The two brothers were sentenced in absentia in 2012 to eight years in prison, accused of running their bank into the ground and then presenting false balance sheets to profit from bailout funds. In a highly politicized case, Ecuador says the fraud cost the country $400 million.

Another chick in the Ecuadoran family got her travel ban to the U.S. overturned the day after she cut a check to Obama for $40K.  It’s suggested this is tantamount to bribery which is stupid because this is obviously bribery. And, so what? You’re going apeshit on The Godfather for stealing an apple?

It’s not cynical as fuck to assume all of your elected representatives are selling you out for personal or party favors. It’s absolutely completely true. Obama can take the ill-gotten Ecuadorian banana magnate money and deck out the White House with a kick ass Finnish sauna that includes an elevated parking carousel for his tricked out Bentley collection. At least we could call him a player and rejoice when we read about bribery knowing he’s probably banging Beyonce. He’s not the first, not the only, not the last. New Jack City had a higher standard of ethics than Washington. The system is rigged and the people who bitch about it the most are the people who continue to vote to keep it running. Fuck most all of you. You get what you deserve.

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