Lady Gaga Tells Howard Stern She Was Raped

Howard Stern doesn’t seem like the radio show where you confess to beng raped by a record producer as a young music artist. Almost all young music artists have been raped by record producers, but most don’t come out with it in front of Baba Booey. The music industry is littered with humorless outcasts who polite society has left behind. The ones with music talent start rock bands the ones without talent work the business side raping the rock bands. Figuratively, literally, anally. It’s an angry incestuous soap opera featuring really short guys in really fancy cars.

The Lady Gaga persona annoys most people who don’t favor vamp theatrics and flamboyant costumery. But there’s never really been anything personally buggy about Stefani whatever her real name is. She’s a performance artist. She’s good at it. I admire the part where she tells Howard she didn’t share her story before because she didn’t want everybody suggesting all of her creative anger and doleful verses were simply about her rape. Even though eighty-three percent of them are. Including Swine, the one she performed while on a mechanical bull playing drums as another performance artist puked paint on her during South by Southwest. It was like Splash Mountain, for cutters.

Lady Gaga won’t name the guy in the music business who raped her, but it wouldn’t hurt to grab up half the dudes in the industry, dress them in some ‘I Bitch Slapped Muhammad’ Beefy T’s, and air drop them into the ISIS hot zone. Reasonable chance we get the right guy. Either way, the birds sing just a little bit sweeter the next morning.