Jessie J Seems Talented

I don’t know at what point we decided you can’t be a pop star without flashing your bare ass in magazines, but that was obviously the right decision. Unless you’re the rare girl with pipes like Adele or Aretha, singing is but a small fraction of your overall pop star grade. Singing is tossing the discus in the decathlon. Wonderful, you can throw a plate two hundred feet. It would suck to be your spouse. If you’re a fatty who can’t elevate over the hurdles or Jenny McCarthy re-introduced polio leaves you lacking in the long jump, you’re still looking up at bronze. Fishermen don’t complain about the fish smell. Now show us some skin and date somebody wrong for you and we’ll consider paying for your music, Next.

Photo Credit: Glamour