I’ll Ride With You, Just No Car Bombs Or Shit

Only an idiot believe that all Muslims are terrorists. But, it’s slightly less idiotic to believe that all terrorists are Muslims. Because in 2014 in the Western world, that’s basically true, even if media outlets and political leaders find it really really hard to say aloud. When a whackjob Islamic cleric took hostages in a Sydney coffee shop on Monday, many kind souls went on Twitter and offered to ride along with Muslim garbed travelers on public transportation across Australia. This was to proactively shield them from being victims of Islamophobia, which is the fear that all the bad shit you believe about radical Islam is in fact true and they do want to kill you. The hashtag #IllRideWithYou spread across Australia, the U.K. and the U.S. where people couldn’t wait to offer to escort Muslim riders. It’s really just missing a slow clap to make it a movie moment.

With news today that more primitive minded Taliban nutjobs killed 130 kids in Pakistan for daring to go to school, the need for white non-hispanic metro buddies will likely increase even further. It’s a shame that the entire Muslim barrel has to suffer simply because a few million of their bad apples want to establish an Islamic Caliphate on earth and assassinate hundreds of millions of non-believers. I wholly endorse this ride-along program. Though, if you happen to be accompanying a nervous looking fellow who keeps grasping inside his jacket and asking you questions like, how volatile is C4, while on your way to Washington for a White House tour, please remember to withhold your prejudice and often him assistance with his bags. #WhyAreTheMediaSuchPussies?

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